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Monday, January 21, 2013

Can Non-Consent Sex be Pleasurable for a Woman?

At the outset I must distinguish between rape and non-consent sex. The difference between the two is fairly marked. Non consent dose have an element of love while rape is invasion of a woman's body by force accompanied by violence or threat of fear. Fear is an ingredient in rape,but not in non-consent sex. A few years back when in college I read a book by an anonymous writer titled 'Mistress'. The book relates a story of a haughty and beautiful woman who is loved by a man in secret. One day he ties her up and slowly and surely undresses her and then uses feathers and such soft instruments to pleasure her and finally the haughty lady succumbs to the ministrations of the lover.
As a book of fantasy it is fun to read, but I have wondered whether it is practical. One of my friends discussed this with me and resolved to give it a try. He targeted the maid in the house, a young 20 year old girl from Nepal. He followed up by enticing the maid to the bedroom and then grasping her and tying her wrists. This however turned out to be a futile exercise as the maid secretly fancied the my friend and readily submitted. After the act she laughed that all this was not required as she loved him and would submit any time to him In fact the entire exercise turned out to be a flop. In fact after the act the girl asked the question "sir, was I good," The question however remains whether non-consent sex can have an element of pleasure or not. Freud in his writings has brought the question of submissiveness and dominance in sex.
Theoretically it is possible for a woman to be captured and dominated, but in case coercion is involved and element of fear comes in then it cannot be pleasurable for a woman. Books like 'Mistress' are more the exception than the norm .Reading gives you pleasure, but actually it could turn out to be different and become rape.
The bottom line is that the moment fear creeps in the charm of sex is lost. Its very well to read about it, but perhaps may not be practical. But there is no denying that a sex act can be forced on a partner or girlfriend and later she may not mind it. Even in the Kamasutra , the sage Vatsyayana discusses posesfor sex with a woman is not willing to co-habit at that moment. Forcing sex on a woman is common in our society and it is something going on for centuries. It won't go away but one can fantasize about it and that I suppose is the best thing to do